


Broken Bond

by tifent16



Series: Broken Bond [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-08
Updated: 2013-07-08
Packaged: 2017-12-18 03:24:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/875065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tifent16/pseuds/tifent16
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been week since the angels fell, and Cas has barely eaten or slept, and eventually Sam and Dean decide enough is enough</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas isn't hungry. He never is

The table was uncomfortably silent. Sam stared at his meal and ate, while Dean was glancing up at Castiel with worry every few seconds. As usual, Castiel poked and prodded at his meal, unable to eat. He could see Dean and Sam exchange worried glances out of the corner of his eye, and, for their sake alone, somewhat aggressively attempted at taking a bite. He pushed his food into a pile, shoved his fork under the heap, and lifted the food off the plate. He frowned at the small pile of food on his fork while he stared at it for a few moments. That action on its’ own seemed distasteful to him. He felt as if his entire being was against taking even the tiniest of bites. He felt every inch of him trying to fight off eating that small chunk.  
Still, the fallen angel lifted the fork to his mouth and took a small bite, chewed and swallowed. The food was tasteless to him, disgusting. There. He thought. I ate. He felt a very bitter sense of pride at the action and left the table, deciding that he should award himself with rest.  
After all, it was more than he’d usually eat.  
The two brothers were left at the table, feeling even more uncomfortable than before. Sam looked over at Dean, saw his jaw clench and unclench - A telltale sign that Dean was worried and angry that he didn’t know what to do about it. Sam wanted to say something. He knew his stubborn brother would shoot him down the moment he mentioned feelings, but it felt wrong to just leave it alone. He shifted uncomfortably in the way he usually did before trying to bring up some sort of emotional issue with his brother.  
“Dean-“ Sam barely finished that word when Dean forcefully threw his fork and knife of the plate without even looking at his brother, making sure they made a clanging noise loud enough to interrupt him. He aggressively stood up from his chair, grabbed his plate and Castiels’, and dropped them heavily in the sink, making those clang together too, before stomping off, his fists clenched. Sam looked down at his plate, sighing as he did so. Sometimes he didn’t know why he tried to talk to his brother. He was so stubborn. He knew he’d just get shot down every time. Still, Sam didn’t seem to learn his lesson, and he would try to talk anyway. He shook his head hopelessly (at himself, Dean, or Castiel, hew wasn’t sure) before quietly finishing his meal.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean can't help but blame himself

Dean was worried. And pissed. And worried. Every time he closed his eyes – even blinked - he saw Castiels’ sunken cheeks and eyes. He saw how his old clothes that had always fit perfectly now sag and hand around him. He saw how fragile he seemed, and Dean hated it.  
And it wasn’t just how thin and frail he looked that made him feel so guilty, it was how he acted. It was the way his head was always slightly lowered, the way he barely talked - Never smiled. Castiel was a wreck, and Dean couldn’t do a damn thing about it, and that pissed him off. It pissed him off more than he would ever admit to anyone – especially himself.  
He gulped down a swig of beer, and sighed. He hated himself for not being able to do anything. He felt worthless, useless. Cas was suffering and there was nothing he could do to help him. Dean would give anything to make him not feel that way, but he knew there was nothing he could do. So he just kept sighing and gulping, until the alcohol set in and the warm haze of intoxication blurred his worries and anger. Until they were merely an annoyance, scratching at the back of his mind. He wished he could make those thoughts disappear completely, but he knew that would never happen. Cas was family, and when his family was in trouble, not even sleep would allow his mind to wander. The only thing that would make the worries go away is if there was nothing to worry about in the first place.  
Like that’ll ever happen. He thought to himself bitterly. No matter what, there was always something to worry about. But that was the life of a hunter, always running, always fighting, always close to dying. Or worse. Dean sighed and wandered out of the room, unsure of where he was going.  
He found Sam sitting at the table, engrossed in the books scattered around him.  
“Hey” Sam said, barely even glancing up at Dean.  
“Anything?” Dean sat on the chair, knowing no good answer would come, but asking anyway.  
Sam closed the book he was reading, leaned back in his chair, and sighed, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palm as he did so. That was all the answer Dean needed. Sam saw him clench and unclench his jaw.  
“That bad?”  
“The only thing that would give us this kind of information is the angel tablet.” Sam looked utterly defeated. “And since the only person who can read that is Kevin…”  
“-all we can do is sit on our asses until it’s translated.” Dean finished. Sam nodded, his lips pressed together in worry.  
His jaw clenched and unclenched again.  
Dean sighed and glanced around the room.  
“…Where’s Cas?” Dean asked suddenly.  
“Last time I saw him was at lunch.” Sam replied. Dean looked at him, worry written all over his face.  
“That was…what - six hours ago?”  
Sam simply grimaced.  
Clench, unclench.  
“He hasn’t even come out to eat or anything?”  
Sam shook his head.  
Clench…  
…unclench.  
“…Damitt” Dean mumbled. He stood up, deciding to finally talk some sense into the fallen angel. “Cas?” he called. No answer. He called again – his pulse began to quicken when his response was more silence. Dammit. He shouted internally. Dean headed toward Cas’s room, worried and annoyed at him at the same time.  
“C-“  
Dean stopped short when he found him lying unconscious at the doorway to his room.


	3. Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas finally opens up

“Cas!” Dean shouted. In a few strides, Dean was at his side. He kneeled down and grabbed Cas’s arm, shaking him hard. “Cas?!” he shouted again, Dean could hear the strain and panic creeping up on his voice. Deans’ hands were clenched tightly enough on his arms to leave bruises. He shook him again, even harder this time, and Castiel let out a quiet groan. Oh thank god. Thank god. Dean thought to himself.   
“What’s going on?” Dean jumped, wondering when Sam got there.  
“Do you realize he could have been here all those six hours you were reading you’re fucking books?!” Dean barked at him. Sam winced in guilt and gave no apology. He knew it would probably only piss his brother off more. Dean just shook his head in annoyance and turned back to Cas, who was struggling to open his eyes.  
“What…” he mumbled, his voice was gruff and strained. With more panic and concern that Dean would have liked to show, He wrapped his arm right under his shoulders, and propped him up so that he was half laying, half sitting.  
“Cas! Cas, what happened?” Deans’ eyes seemed to dart everywhere while still keeping every inch of him focused on Castiel.  
“I was going to…” his voice faded, sounding confused, “…and then I was just here…” Cas’s eyes widened in fear as he started to come to. What was he doing on the floor? He didn’t remember much.  
“Cas. It’s ok. You probably just passed out. Come on, get up.” Dean tried to pull Cas to his feet, but the moment he loosened his grip to let Cas stand on his own, His knees buckled, and would have fallen if it weren’t for Deans’ strong arms. He couldn’t stand; He was too weak.  
Pushing down the panic that was trying to force its way up, Dean half carried, half guided him to his bed, and laid him down. Sam ran off to get him some food and water.  
“Are you ok Cas?” Dean asked again. He kept his hand on his shoulder, not wanting to let go in fear that if he let go, Castiel would crumble.  
“Yes. I feel better I’m fine.” He began to prop himself up on his elbows.  
“Whoa, whoa, just take it easy buddy. Just relax, ok?” Dean Grabbed a few pillows, stuck them behind Castiel, and gently laid him back down. “You need some rest.”  
Cas simply nodded, whether it was because he trusted his word or he didn’t have enough energy to argue, he didn’t know. He just let his head fall back against the pillows  
“What happened?” he asked, turning his head to face Dean.  
“You probably just passed out. You’ve hardly been eating, and I’m pretty sure you haven’t been sleeping either.” Dean explained.  
“I’ve never…passed out before.” His face contorted slightly, as if the idea of loosing consciousness was distasteful to him.  
“Well I wouldn’t doubt it, you are an angel.”  
“…was an angel” Cas corrected somewhat bitterly.  
“Hey, we’ll get you’re grace back, along with all those other self-righteous assholes. Don’t worry.” He patted Castiel on the shoulder, not really knowing how else to comfort him.  
“Dean, I do not think any of us will be angels again.” Cas said after another long silence. Dean felt his blood run cold as he heard the hopelessness and defeat in his voice. A thousand different responses ran through the hunter’s head, but he didn’t say any of them. All he did was look at Castiel with sad, worrying eyes.  
Sam knocked on the doorframe.  
“Hey,” he said, oh god I hope I didn’t just walk in on one of their moments again. Sam thought desperately to himself. Luckily nothing seemed to be going on. “I brought you something to eat and drink.” Sam gestured with the plate and glass in hand.  
“I’m not hungry” Cas said defiantly.  
“Well that’s too damn bad, you’re going to eat anyway.” Dean said, taking the food from Sam. He placed the plate on the table and held the glass of water in front of Cas. Cas looked at Dean, and knew by the look on his face that Dean wouldn’t take no for an answer. Sighing, he took the glass and took a sip. Then another. Then he gulped down the rest of the water, leaving him breathless as he lowered the glass. Dean gave him a triumphant smirk as Castiel handed him the now empty glass. He placed the glass on the table and picked up the plate, putting that in front of the angel. Hesitantly, Cas picked up the sandwich and took a bite. He then took another huge one, and began stuffing it down his throat.  
“Whoa, you shouldn’t eat that quickly after going to long without eating.” Sam said, quickly rushing to the bed and taking the plate and food from Castiel. “It can actually make you worse. Just take one small bite every few minutes, ok?” Castiel nodded, his mouth full of sandwich. Sam gave him a small, awkward smile, and nodded back.  
“Ok, well, you get some sleep, ok buddy?” Dean patted him on the shoulder and began to get up.  
Without any warning, Castiels’ hand snatched up at Deans’ sleeve at lightening speed, and pulled him back to the chair, bringing him just a little too close to his face for comfort.  
“Please stay here with me, Dean.” His voice was so urgent and soft, all Dean could do was stare at him with worry and surprise, and nod.  
“Ok, Cas,” his voice matched Cas’s softness and looked at him with surprise. They fallen angel looked back at him, and for a few moments they just stared at each other.  
Meanwhile, Sam was getting uncomfortable. He cleared his throat; distracting them from whatever the hell is was that was going on between them. Sam sighed internally. By then he had lost track of how many times that had happened.  
“I’ll…uh…get Cas more water.” Sam gestured back out the door and left the room without even grabbing the empty glass.  
The silence enveloped them once again. They often had these moments, where they would look at each other, and both would feel the strange connection that Dean and Castiel had, only to be interrupted by Sam clearing his throat. Dean turned back to Castiel, who had just realized he was still clutching Deans’ sleeve and released his grip quickly. The silence changed into an awkward one as Dean tried to think of what to say.  
“So, Cas,” Dean began, “mind telling me what the hell is going on with you?”  
Castiel looked away from him, his eyebrows furrowing, clearly uncomfortable at the thought of telling him. He didn’t want Dean to know what he was feeling, but he knew that he had to tell him. That this was one of those times where Dean was going to be stubborn. He was just about to start talking when Dean said:  
“Is this about the whole angel falling thing? because that asshole Metatron tricked you, and-“  
“-Its not about me causing the angels’ fall.” He started to explain, “well, that is one of the things that concerns me, but not really what I keep thinking about…”  
There was another silence as Castiel built up the courage to tell him.   
“I’m human now, Dean.” Cas looked at him again. When he saw the confused look on his face he continued.  
“I can’t hear them anymore. The angels. I mean – they cut me off a while ago, but I always thought to myself that there was a chance – however minute – that they would bring me back again. And…even when I was cut off, I could still feel it – like a wall blocking me from hearing them. Now…now there’s nothing. No voices, no wall, no presence of any kind. Everything’s just so…empty.” Cas sighed. “Still, even that’s not really why I haven’t been eating, or sleeping, or doing anything.”  
“Then what is?”   
“You.” Castiel said simply. Dean was…he didn’t know what he was. He felt his heart sink and skip a beat at the same time. He was shocked and confused and really didn’t like the connotations that went with it.  
“What do you mean, me?” Dean finally managed, an edge of defensiveness to his tone. Castiel sighed again, beginning to feel ever so slightly uncomfortable.  
“When an angel rescues someone from hell, a kind of…bond is formed.” He spoke slowly. He didn’t know why, but this was the last thing he wanted to tell him. He felt like telling him this was…like exposing a part of him. But Dean was his friend, and he deserved to know.  
“Bond…” the hunter repeated quietly.  
“Yes. And the angel can feel that bond. The human still feels a sort of connection, but it’s not the same as what the angel feels. The human feels an emotional connection, while the angel feel a more spiritual one. For example, I know when you’re praying to me, or even want to pray to me, just by your thoughts. This connection allows me to hear you better than any other human. I can hear when anyone prays for me out loud, but you never even had to say anything. Your thoughts alone could reach me, louder than any other prayers might.  
“Something else that happened is that I could sense your soul when I was near you. Not necessarily see it or hear it, but I knew it was there, and I knew…what kind of…state it was in. Now… there’s nothing.” Dean could hear the angels voice begin to sound strained, and Deans’ throat tightened at the sound. Castiel continued, trying to steady himself. “I can’t sense your soul, Dean. I can’t hear when you pray for me, even out loud. I have no idea what you’re doing or how you feel or anything about you.” His voice began to shake, and he forced out his next words. “It’s like you’re just gone Dean. It’s not even like you’re dead – I’d still be able to sense you in heaven – it’s like you’ve just disappeared from existance.” His eyes began to well up and his voice broke at those last few words.  
“Cas…” Dean didn’t know what to say, “Cas, I’m right here. Look at me, I’m right here.” His voice was urgent, almost desperate.   
“Sometimes I feel like you vanished when the angels fell, and all I’m seeing is an empty image of you.” Tears began to fall down his cheeks and his voice cracked at every other word. The thought of Castiel thinking that was more than unsettling “That’s why I asked you to stay, I need to see you, convince myself you’re real…but I can’t” that’s when he really started crying – almost sobbing, and Dean could feel his heart breaking for him  
“Cas look at me, I’m right here. Look at me.” Dean demanded as he grabbed Castiel at both sides of his face and forced him to stare right into his eyes. “I look like me, don’t I? I-I sound like me, act like me. I am here. Cas, I’m right here.” The words seemed to have no affect on the angel; he just stared at him hopelessly. “Here” Dean grabbed Cas’s shaking hands. “This is me. This is what Dean Winchester’s hand feels like. As long as my hands feel like this I’m still here.” Dean stared for a while; trying to think of what else he could say.   
“A-and right here” He placed one of Castiels’ hands over his heart, and held it tight. Castiels’ eyes locked to their hands, and he could feel Deans’ heart beat quickly. “This is me. This right here is Dean Winchesters heartbeat. As long as that’s still beating you know I’m still here. I’m still me.” Dammit. He thought as he felt tears begin to form in his eyes. He paused again, taking in Castiels’ expression, and by the look on his face he seemed to be getting through to him. He desperately tried to think of something else. Another place came to him. He took the hand that was over his heart, grabbed it with both of his own, and placed Castiel’s hand so close to his lips that Castiel could feel them brush against his fingers when he spoke. Castiel stared at his lips, a surge of so many different emotions rushing through him.  
“Right here is my breath” Dean’s voice was suddenly hushed, with maybe even the tiniest hint of affection in it. “This is what it feels like when I breathe. And this is what it feels like when I talk. I’m right here Cas, whether you’re an angel or not, I’ll always be right here. And I’ll always be me” Dean dropped his hands from the angel, but the his, hand stay there, his fingertips millimeters away from his beautiful lips. They really are beautiful. Cas thought to himself. Cas shifted his glance from the hunters’ lips to his eyes.  
“Dean.” He said simply. Dean smiled, relieved to have finally got through to him  
“That’s right Cas, I’m right here.” He said with tender conviction. Castiel dropped his hand form the hunters’ lips and gave him a small smile as he felt a glimmer of hope spark inside him.  
“Dean?”   
“Yeah?”  
“Could you stay here for a while longer?”  
“Sure Cas.” Dean smiled, and leaned back in his chair  
Ok, here goes nothing. Sam thought to himself. Glass in hand; he walked back over to Castiels’ room, desperately hoping that they weren’t in the middle of… something.  
He was just about to knock of the doorframe when he saw them. Dean, hunched over Castiel, eyes closed and breathing steady, and Castiel, his head rested against the bed board, fingers entwined in Deans’ hair, a slight smile on his face as he slept. Despite the awkwardness of what he had just walked in on, Sam smiled, placed the glass on the side table, and walked off, thinking, it’s about damn time.


	4. Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas has his first dream. And it's a nightmare.

Castiel didn’t dream, and if he did, he never remembered them. He thought it odd that he hadn’t yet had a nightmare, considering the trauma he went through. But never. He guessed it was because that when he slept it was few and far between, and light. But after that night, he realized it was Dean.  
He saw his brothers’ bodies twisted and broken, covered in blood. He saw them screaming in agony as they burned, falling from the sky. And he saw Naomi and Metatron, blaming him.   
It’s all your fault, Castiel  
You should have trusted Naomi, Castiel  
All you do is hurt the people you love, Castiel  
His mind jumped to somewhere else. He was lying down, snapping open his eyes the moment he felt they were open. He bolted up, gasping and frantically grasping at the air and the folds of fabric laying around him.   
“Cas!” He heard a familiar voice call. He felt hands pressing firmly on the sides of his shoulders, and felt another rush of adrenalin. Still in the haze and terror of his dream, Castiel desperately tried to free himself of the grip, but it was too strong. The hands stayed, the fingers pressing down harder, holding him as still as they could.  
“Cas!” The voice cut through his panic, and a pang of recognition hit him. He stopped fighting the strong grip, but the gasping continued.  
“Cas!” The voice shouted once again, and Castiel finally recognized the gruff, familiar voice.  
“Dean!” Castiel cried and reached out, trying to find the man calling his name. “Dean!” He shouted again as his hands found Dean’s arms, clutching them tightly.   
“Cas!” His voice was strong, but still loud, “Cas! Calm down! It’s ok! It was just a nightmare!” he shook him a couple more times, and Castiel finally saw him. Dean was staring straight at his face, his green eyes filled with worry, but staying strong like they always have. Dean’s eyes snatched Castiel’s eyes with his, and held the gaze as strongly as he gripped his fallen-angel’s shoulders. Dean’s eyes calmed Castiel, the conviction and support that filled them warmed Castiel, and slowly – very slowly – the gasping stopped.  
“Dean, I…” Castiel began, but he didn’t even know what to say. He wanted to explain what just happened and apologize, but he hardly knew what had just happened to him. He looked away, staring into empty space, trying to understand what was going on with him.  
“It’s ok, Cas” Dean pulled him into a hug, and Castiel practically fell into it, leaning all of his weight into Dean. He fumbled at the surprisingly heavy weight of Castiel’s body, but quickly caught himself and wrapped his arms around him. “It was just a nightmare Cas.” He began to rub soothing circles between Castiel’s shoulder blades, “It wasn’t real. It was just a nightmare.”   
Very tentatively and weakly, the fallen angel’s arms slid up to wrap his arms around Dean’s back and hug him back for the first time.  
“A nightmare…” Castiel echoed. He had heard of nightmares, and often seen the affect it could have on humans, but he never experienced one – nor had he even dreamt of ever having one. And now here he was, being held and comforted like a child.  
“Has this ever happened before?” Dean would never forgive himself if he did. How many times had Castiel woken up, gasping for air, desperately needed someone, while he was sleeping soundly in his room?  
“N-no” Castiel said, sighing. Dean let out a breath of relief as he replied. “I’ve never dreamt before… It seemed so real, I thought it was real, I thought-“ Castiel’s breath started quickening, and the panic began to come back. Dean reacted instantly. He pulled away from Castiel, bringing out the smallest whimper from him as he did. Dean brought his hands up to the side of his face and gently nudged his face upward, forcing Castiel to meet his gaze again. The wariness in his eyes was so intense it took everything Dean had in him not to cringe and look away. Instead, he focused on Castiel. His expression softened as he stared into his intensely blue eyes.  
“Cas. It wasn’t real. You’re ok. We’re all ok” Dean urged him. Cas nodded slightly, but his expression stayed the same. Heartbroken, scared, and very, very tired.  
Without really thinking, Dean brought his thumb up to the fallen angel’s cheekbone and stroked it gently, making Castiel close is eyes and lean into his hand and sighing softly. A part of Dean screamed at how odd this was, at how Castiel was his friend, and this was way too much affection to give a friend, but most of him wanted to comfort him. Most of him wanted to make Castiel at least a little less terrified.   
But then, there was another part of him that enjoyed the closeness. A part of him that loved the feeling of Castiel’s stubble scraping against his hand. Loved the way he leaned into his touch, eyes closed, expression softened. Loved how his pink lips parted as he sighed. And the longer they stayed like that, the stronger that part of him grew.   
Dean slided the hand that was stroking him up to Castiel’s hair, and pulled him into a hug. But it was different this time. Instead of him just leaning on Dean, Castiel brought his forehead to his shoulder, burying his face in the nape of his neck. Instead of wrapping his arms around Dean’s back, He wrapped them around his waist, hands clutching at the fabric that rested on top of the small of his back. Dean’s heart fluttered in a way he was not expecting, and pulled him in tighter. He brought one hand between Castiel’s shoulders and laced his other hand in Castiel’s hair. After a moment of hesitation, Dean brought his cheek down to rest on the top of his head, and felt Castiel nuzzle his neck slightly in response.  
And there they stayed, Castiel giving in and letting himself be held, and Dean rubbing his back, trying to focus on how he was helping his friend and not how low Castiel’s hands were resting on his back, or him occasionally nuzzling the nape of Dean’s neck, or the feeling of his breath down his neck that made his heart beat even faster.  
Castiel, of course, could feel Dean’s heartbeat rise, but gave no notice of it. He knew he was being selfish, but at that moment that was all he could do. He just accepted his heartbeat and let himself be comforted by his righteous man.   
They stayed like that until Castiel drifted off to sleep in Dean’s arms.


	5. Part 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the morning after, and Dean's not too happy

Dean woke up before Castiel, which didn’t surprise him. He figured after all that he’d been through, especially last night, he’d be really freaking tired.   
He had ended up sleeping on the bed with Castiel, deciding to stay for the night incase he had another nightmare. When Dean realized he had fallen asleep, he laid him down gently, and slept on top of the covers on the other side of the bed. He refused to sleep under them. He felt like sleeping under the covers with Castiel would be like sleeping with him (in a literal term, obviously), and after that interesting hug, he didn’t want to deal with any more weirdness. He wasn’t sleeping with Castiel, he was watching over him.  
He was watching over him  
Dean was watching over Castel.  
The thought hit him like a brick wall. The sheer irony of it made him cringe. After all those years, Castiel had told him he would watch over him, and now it was the other way around. Now Dean was protecting Castiel.  
“Mornin’” Sam said, breaking Dean out of his thoughts. He was pushing some eggs around on the stove, looking at Dean with an odd expression. Dean frowned at him for a second before replying.  
“Morning sunshine” He said, using humor to cover up the awkwardness of he look Sam was giving him. Sam smirked slightly at the obvious cover-up, dumped his eggs on a plate and sat at the table with a coffee. Dean poured himself a cup and sat at the head of the table.  
It didn’t take long for Dean to pick up on the way Sam was looking at him, like there was something he really wanted to mention, but didn’t quite know how to bring it up.  
“What?” Dean finally snapped. Sam opened his mouth, ready to tell him how he saw Dean asleep on Castiel’s lap with a hand in his hair. How he had woken up that night to the sounds of someone hyperventilating. Tell him that he had gotten up to check on Castiel. That he had seen the way Dean had held him and comforted him. That he knew how Dean felt about him. How it was obvious. And how he was ok with it.  
But just as he was about to talk, he saw Castiel walk around the corner, clothes wrinkled, hair messy, and eyes tinted red. Dean immediately noticed Sam’s attention shift upward, and turned around, knowing it was Castiel he was looking at.  
“Hey, Cas” Dean said, unable to hold back the edge of softness that he felt when he saw him like that. Hair and clothes messy, looking less stressed. Even if his eyes were red, he still looked better. Dean smiled slightly.  
“Morning,” Castiel said gruffly. He walked over to the table and sat down across from Sam.  
“You hungry?” Sam asked tentatively. Castiel nodded without looking up at Sam, just keeping his eyes fixated on the table, still groggy from sleep. It was an unusual feeling for him. Even after weeks of waking up to this feeling, he felt slightly different that morning. Before he had always felt drained of all energy. Like sleep just made him feel worse. But that morning he felt rested. He felt like he was just in a haze because he just woke up, not because he barely ever had the energy to do anything.   
He just felt better.  
Sam’s face brightened, glad to see that Castiel actually wanted food, and got up to make him something to eat.  
“So, Cas” Sam said after a long, awkward silence. “Feeling any better?”  
“Yes. I think sleeping with Dean was very helpful.” He replied in a very matter-of-fact way. Dean stared at him in shock of what he just said. He knew Castiel had no idea what he just implied, but he was still pissed.  
Sam just turned around, spatula in one hand, pan of eggs in the other. Looking back and forth between Dean and Castiel, trying to figure out if he meant what he thought he meant by “sleeping with Dean”  
“Dean and Cas slept together?” Kevin said as he walked around the corner, interrupting Dean before he could even explain. “Called it.” He smirked at Castiel, and then glanced at Dean as he grabbed a snack.   
Dean stared at him, dumbfounded that he would even think that. He gestured toward Kevin while looking at Sam, trying to explain himself, but he was too embarrassed and shocked to make any words come out.  
“So…did you two actually…” Sam trailed off as he gestured between them.  
“What?! No!” Dean finally managed to say. Unfortunately, his voice cracked at the first word, making his denial hard to believe. “I-I mean, we-we slept together, but we didn’t sleep together sleep together.” Dean fumbled. “We-look, we jut slept in the same bed. We didn’t-“ Dean just stopped and used a random, indefinable gesture to fill in the gap for the last word.   
“Why did you two just sleep together?” Kevin asked, genuinely confused.   
“Wait…you find it weird that we slept in the same bed, but you don’t find it weird if you think I fucked Cas?” Dean demanded angrily.  
“I didn’t say you were the one doing the fucking.” Kevin retorted smugly.   
“Dean, do they think we had sexual relations?” Castiel suddenly interjected, who, up until that point, was trying to figure out why everyone was making a big deal out of them sleeping in the same bed.  
“Yes!” Dean finally exploded, shutting everyone up. They all stared at him as he blushed furiously. “Look,” Dean finally managed. “We did not have sex. Cas was having freakin nightmares! I couldn’t just - I mean, he – I - what was I s –“ He stopped himself, closing his eyes and digging his fists into the table in frustration. Finally, he opened his eyes, took a deep breath, and said, “I need to take a walk.” He then stormed off, slamming the door behind him.

**Author's Note:**

> IF YOU WANT TO LEAVE A COMMENT PLEASE DO EVEN IF IT'S ONLY LIKE ONE WORD JUST DO IT ANYWAY AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER


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